“Are you a girl’s girl?”
Being a “girl’s girl” is a label Generation Z has been loving but, depending on where you land, it could be seen as a compliment or an insult.
When Ethan Slater’s ex-wife, Lily Jay, spoke out about the rumoured affair between Slater and his A-list co-star Ariana Grande, she used the term against her.
“She’s not a girl’s girl. My family is just collateral damage,” she told Page Six.
Rapper Ice Spice recently told Variety that in her industry, she finds women pretend to support other women but don’t.
“People want to be all ‘I’m a girl’s girl,’ but then behind the scenes being b**ches,” she complained.
The term has cemented itself into the cultural conversation and begs the question is it a good thing for women or a bad thing?
There’s no denying we are in a girl focused era.
There’s been so many trends that are focused on being a girl. There’s been ‘Girl Dinner’ and ‘Hot Girl Walks’ and it has become trendy to add a feminine twist to a standard thing and examine it through a female lens.
The phrase feels like a natural progression of a larger conversation all women seem to be having – but is it healthy?
In a recent episode of Aussie podcast Shameless, hosts, Michelle Andrews and Zara McDonald discussed the girly trend and unpacked whether the saying was positive or negative for women.
McDonald said that a part of her “adores” the saying, but she worries that it will ultimately just be “weaponised” against women.
The podcast host also argued that it could just become another “unrealistic standard” to hold over women, and she worried it was becoming over saturated.
Andrews responded and said that sometimes women do need to be “called out” for not being girl’s girls, though, but McDonald said she still felt the phrase was getting “overblown” and “overused.”
“I still love it!” Andrews declared.
TikTok has become a massive place for the saying to come to life, with young women discussing the phrase endlessly and often disagreeing on who can and who should be allowed to call themselves a girl’s girl.
One creator shared that she knew she was a girl’s girl because she’d never leave any drunk girl alone in a room with a “random” stranger.
Meanwhile, one creator shared that you weren’t a girl’s girl if whenever you posted about fashion you had to mention your size is an “extra small.”
Another creator shared that you can’t be a girl’s girl if you want to date a friend’s ex and remain “close” friends with them.
While one creator boldly claimed that girls that “preach” that they are girl’s girls actually aren’t.
One creator argued that a girl’s girl isn’t a difficult thing to be it is simply just a woman that never puts down another women to look “cool” in front of men.
While another creator said if you are looking to become a girl’s girl all you have to do is never bring a girl “down” based on how she looks.
Are you keeping up?
There seems to be plenty of conflicting rules about what it takes to being a girl’s girl.
Psychologist Carly Dober explained that the problem with this the phrase is that it can make some people feel like they are always doing something “wrong.”
“The implication is if you don’t participate in the behaviours or activities that are sanctioned as being ‘girl’s girls’- then you aren’t a ‘girls girl’ and you’re doing something wrong, or how you choose and wish to live your life isn’t good enough,” she said.
Dober pointed out that language is “exclusionary” and therefore not very healthy to be constantly using.
“Not only is this exclusionary, but it can impact peoples self- confidence if the perceive their behaviours as another thing to be commented on,” she said.