Queensland State of Origin claim goes too far for seething NSW

It’s not enough that these greedy Queensland Maroons pound us on the football field every year with artificial disdain.

They also have to over-diagnose Ben Hunt’s scones as botulism just to earn underdog status.

Yep, no one does mind games more than Queensland, and despite being clearly better at actual rugby league, they still can’t help tainting every Origin preamble with their chamber pot of lies and deceit.

We’ve seen it all before.

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Encrypted team sheets, Sanskrit quotes, or even their Area 51-esque paranoid conspiracies, and that’s just Cameron Smith talking to the judges.

And it works – not just because the moors keep winning – but because it still gives us new South Welshmen the luxury of s**s.

We can’t forget Kevin Walters, who announced his side in alphabetical order in 2017, we’re still seething over Lote Tuqiri being named TBA to prevent a layoff, and we continue to get ulcers every time they name their side 24 hours later than ours.

But after the events of this week, it’s time to admit that their two dollar psychological warfare has thankfully jumped the shark.

Gorden Tallis didn’t tear up the bottom of NRL 360 with his lame referee conspiracy about Michael Maguire, he buried himself six feet deep in the clay.

In case you missed it, the former Maroon claimed the Blues had an unfair advantage heading into the series at the expense of Maguire’s time as referees coach, a role he held in the long-ago pre-Who Cares era.

“It’s got to be a bit of a concern (Maguire’s history with coaches),” Tallis carried.

“Last night we watched Madge talk about … meeting Joey (Suaali’i) when he was 13 and being in a relationship with him.

“So you wouldn’t know the strengths and weaknesses, would you as a coach? If you are a referee coach, would you know the strengths and weaknesses of referees?

“If you train referees, do you think you would have a good relationship with them?”

Even the normally embattled NRL360 board couldn’t map the panto, with Paul Crawley magnanimously labeling Tallis’ claims “far-fetched”.

It was a lame attempt at victims even by the standards of Queensland’s highly flexible prosecution complex, and the fact that it received as much face-squeezing as Harry Grant’s gastro shows that their pretense has run out of steam.

That’s right, the Queensland camp is apparently still such a deadly war zone that it should be surrounded by BBC correspondents kneeling in helmets.

But despite the support of lenient local servants in spreading the message, fake news also survived.

Sure, I’ve no doubt Grant wasn’t lying about being in all sorts this week, but that’s what happens with exposure to binding and tap water from Queensland.

But forgive our cynicism when the same black widow spider that keeps biting us pretends to be dead for the 725th time.

We all agree that nothing is as important to Queensland as crying wolf for the bookies to blow their odds.

But their fictional diseases are now a public health issue.

In the fair dinkum department, all those doctors stationed in the Maroons camp should be deployed where they are most needed ie. at Paul Vautin’s bedside, where he is being treated for delirium.

“I love the NSW bench. Yeo, Olakau’atu, Leniu, Young… It’s a really strong forward bench,” Vautin beamed this week.

“We are against it.

“I’ll never tip NSW but I’m surprised they’re foreigners.”

Yes, Queensland will disingenuously veer away from the narrative to win underdog status to the top perch, although you can hear the Fat Man’s head shaking with every disingenuous word.

In fact, if you tap each syllable of his quote in Morse code, it spells out “QLD 13+.”

To be honest, it’s ridiculous that these mind games from the Queenslanders have taken so long, especially given the opposition.

Here in NSW we have our hands full trying to win a game let alone rigging a team sheet or tampering with a psyche.

In fact, our brains are overloaded with mind games, mainly because they are full of self-doubt and rent-free Queenslanders.

So we can only rely on the occasional win in Perth or wiping out all the enemy players with our justice.

— Dane Eldridge is a warped cynic who longs for the glory days of rugby league, when mushrooms were magic and Mondays were crazy. He’s never worn a boot in his life, so he should be taken with a grain of salt.

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