Ah, Stardew Valley. Instead of peace, agriculture and charming villagers who melted our hearts with their curious eccentric and touching behind the scenes. We spend countless hours building relationships, showering gifts and dreaming of a cozy, pixel life together.
But let's be honest, the boys: If these beloved bachelor and bachelates were pulled out of the idyllic Pelican city and fell into a chaotic, chaotic, real world, many would be absolute nightmares. Forget a healthy life on the farm – we speak fully blown, daily drama, social faux pas and enough emotional luggage to fill the barn.
1
Shane
Maverick with a mood square
The final dramatic king, it would be a guy who launched a heated twitter debate about Joja Cola's ethical acquisition just to delete his account the next day without explanation and everyone hung.
His mood fluctuations would be legendary. For one minute, he sends you text messages crying emodi, which closes about the stray chicken he adopted, another passively-aggressive liked all your posts on the Instagram of your former. It would also be the one who showed up on a group hangout, sat down for an hour, and then loudly said he had to go home to check his birds, and left a trace of embarrassment after his furrow.
2
Abigail
Crystal connoisseur
Certainly it would be the one who stains his hair with another, shocking color every month, and then complains that no one believes that it is her natural shadow. You would invite her to Potluck and she showed up with the Amethyst bag she had found on the beach, and insisted that it was a gourmet snack because one ate once and it was all right. ”
Then she got into a philosophical argument with the spiritual characteristics of rocks and would turn into a debate in the evening as to whether one could really feel the energy of the geodes. There would also be a person who gains a new hobby every week, from knitting to blacksmithing and expects everyone to immediately support their new passion.
3
Hall
Self -sufficient critic
We all know it. A classic middle girl with a secret heart of gold, which will only be released after many works (and maybe a few expensive gifts). It caused a drama by constantly judging everyone's clothes and home decoration and publishing the condescending selfies with the title “so tired of all basic people today”.
She showed up on occasional grilling in design clothing and then complained that her smoke would get into her hair. However, she was caught crying over a sad dog video on her phone and denying him furiously, but not before everyone saw their vulnerable side and left a confusing track of the emotional whip.
4
Sebastian
Snoring spirit
A mad loner. It is a type that would put on every social occasion. This is not the worst sin, but when you finally make him come out, sit in the corner, stared at his phone and complained that Wi-Fi was too slow for his video games.
He should have an unclear blog about his feelings that everyone would follow secretly, and he would publish anxiety, poetic records of the futility of social interaction. They would be well written, but you don't want to feel offended. You would never know whether he is angry or just deep in his thoughts, which is a drama in itself.
5
Maru
Chaotic genius
Maru, with her brilliant mind, would cause a drama not a criminal, but through a complete, well -intentioned impracticality. She would be the one who “optimizes” your coffee machine to cook with the laser just to keep it short. She tried to repair your Wi-Fi by building a complicated antenna from kitchen tools and transform your living room into an uncertain scientific experiment.
Its “useful” inventions would inevitably cause more problems than solve, leading to a constant state of technological chaos low levels.
6
Elliott
King drama
Laureate of the poet of drama. Every minor inconvenience would become a great, theater tragedy. Sent you a text message about six paragraph about how his coffee was too cold, full of floral metaphors about the death of joy
His birthday party would be the theme of the “Night of Melancholy”, where he would show a spoken word about the volatility of existence and existential fear of turning 32. He would also be the one who is deadly offended when a friend dares to propose an alternative metaphor or a line of dialogue in his last piece of the proose.
7
Alone
Chaos agent
We all love Sam. His drama would be less harmful and more … chaotic. He accidentally set out for a fire alarm trying to do toast, or to show up at dinner with a half -finished song that he wrote about the squirrels. You would never know if you went to Chill suspended or improvised rock show; He tried to teach everyone to play drums, which would end in broken sticks and ringing the ears.
It is a type for organizing a spontaneous trip and forgetting the map, food and fuel, but somehow it tries to convince everyone that it is an entertaining adventure. And the worst of all, It would work.
8
Leah
“Artist”
A free spirit with a passive aggressive stripe. She and her neighbor got into silent disputes about their lawn ornaments, and then left a finely formulated statue in her front yard, which is obviously a comment on the situation.
She would also have a girlfriend who cares for she is moving to the cabin in the forest to “find” every six months, leading to a dramatic farewell party just to show up next week and say the aura was gone. She got into a very low key with Jojamart cashier about the right way of recycling a plastic bag.
9
Alex
Jock with a fragile ego
Alex would be a guy who constantly boasts of his peak physical state, and how much he can raise, then gently checks his reflection in every window that passes. His drama would stem from his deep -rooted uncertainty; Any perceived slight or insufficient attention would result in an incredibly defensive and perhaps invited someone to an improvised match against the arms struggles to prove its value.
He would also be a friend who insists on planning every group activity around a sports event, and then if his team loses. You would have to constantly assure him that he was doing great or facing silent handling of intense eyes of puppies.
10
Penny
Excessively polite
The eternal More farewell. It caused a low key drama by constantly emphasizing the smallest things. You would tell her that you are taking a trip to the beach, and she will send you a ten -page wrapping list and a list of all potential dangers of the ocean, complemented by footnotes. Stress, a lot?
She would also be a girlfriend who apologizes for things that are not her mistake, creating embarrassment by taking over the worst scenario in every social situation.
