How an alien novel inspired me to design a game where xenomorphs fight Romans

I know what you're thinking. “It's TheGamer's Cozy Weekend, Ben, why are you writing an article about some slimy, phallic, mass-murdering alien?” I could feed you lies about the Alien franchise being comfortable movies, or joke that Alien Isolation has some cozy lockers to hide in, but truth be told, Cozy Weekend collides with Alien Day. And if I write about one of those things, it will be the other.

Alien Day is celebrated on April 26 every year, because of the name of the month in the first and best movie. To us Brits, the numbers in LV-426 read as June 42 – why they didn't just celebrate on the anniversary of the original film's release, May 25, is beyond me – but Americans will be Americans. As a firm believer that Alien is not only the best sci-fi movie ever made, but also the best slasher movie ever made, I usually re-watch it at least once a year, often around Alien Day. However, this year I'm determined to roleplay as a Xenomorph. No, it's not about sex.

While I'm sure HR Giger would love for me to engage in some NSFW Xenomorph cosplay, I have very different tastes. I want to play a game where an alien or aliens fight against the Romans. This wouldn't be possible in a video game. On the table, however, the world is your facehugger.

Alien vs Praetor

I see, this is pretty niche. But I'm a man with two main interests: fantasy/sci-fi and the Roman Empire. What can I say, I'm your average British dad in his 30s. Sue me. I've made my own board game based on Hadrian's Wall in the past after going through it, so why not introduce some sour blood to the process?

Let's back it up a bit. Why do I want Roman soldiers to fight aliens? First, because it's cool. Second, because I recently read Scott Sigler's Aliens: Phalanx, which pits the titular Xenomorphs against a Bronze Age settlement. I will tell you now that this book has no right to be that good. I was expecting a fun, pulse-pounding read, but I was met with immigrant undertones, a nuanced discussion of the complexities of gender roles in wartime, and of course, chest-ripping out the wazoo. Spoilers, but people eventually develop tactics not too far from Roman legionnaires, which put the idea for the game in my head.

Rather than introducing Aliens to my existing board game, I went about it the other way around. I recently played Free League's Alien: The Roleplaying Game and it's really good. The panic system in particular is one of the best I've come across, adding dice to your pool that make you more erratic; more effective in some ways, but with a greater risk of critical failure when being chased through cramped corridors. So I decided to include the Romans in this system. Et voila: Alien vs Praetor.

Balancing an unbalanced game

Augustus Caesar with Roman loading backdrop in Civilization 7.

Aliens versus Romans does not make for an even fight. The alien has acid on his blood, is practically immune to gunfire (thus rendering the humble gladius completely ineffective), and can take on a tough squad of far-future commandos equipped with flamethrowers and more grenades than they realize. A Roman has a sword, some armor, and if he's lucky, a small plume on top of his head.

How do you balance these two forces? Obviously, you have one or two Xenomorphs and pit them against a larger number of Romans. You also give some Romans ranged weapons – bows and arrows, slingshots, even ballistae if you're going all out – that the Xenomorphs don't have access to. But most importantly, you are robbing yourself of the work you are trying to emulate.

In Aliens: Phalanx, the heroes discover that a certain plant is toxic to the “devils” they face and make a tincture from its leaves. They dress in it for protection as it prevents the acid from burning through their skin and lathers a thick layer on their weapons as it is deadly to their enemy. Like turntables.

For my first scenario, I borrowed heavily from the existing missions of Aliens: The Roleplaying Game and from Space Hulk, the best unofficial alien game ever made. I wanted roleplaying and the crunchier systems of the former combined with the thrilling tension of the latter as you watch Xenomorphs crawl through the walls of a Roman complex.

Break A Game To Make A Game

Alien Roleplaying Game key art shows the Xenomorph

To be clear, I'm not making my own game here, it's more about crafting a custom D&D module. Coming up with rules for Roman legionnaires, centurions, and tactical formations has been fun, even if it stretches the ruleset to its limits. Obviously Roman forces are not balanced with RPG marines, but it works well enough for Alien Vs Praetor purposes.

The game itself was a bit edgy in my tests, but I'll continue with this ruleset until I have the campaign I envisioned in my head after reading Sigler's novel. Brave Roman soldiers start as prey, hunted as in the original film – here the RPG formula already excels and its translation is the easiest. The xenomorphs in the Free League tabletop mix are as deadly as the beasts in Alien Isolation or Ripley's original enemy: brutal and inevitable.

Next, I want to figure out how to incorporate the antidote/venom, and ultimately lead the campaign to a heroic crescendo when a phalanx of turtle-formed warriors take on the Alien Queen herself. But I give myself a lot of time.

We still have a long way to go, but I'm enjoying playing around with the RPG structure and bending it to suit my needs. It's almost a game in itself, a puzzle to put together alongside the iterative playtests I force my friends to join. Maybe one day I'll be happy with the whole Alien Vs Praetor campaign that's been stored in my imagination for the last few months – I'll set a deadline to finish it by the next Alien Day 2027. But for now, I need to paint those Roman miniatures I bought years ago.

This article is not part of TheGamer's Cozy Weekend, but you can still check out the rest of the weekend here.