“There are monsters among us, and they look like us,” Daniel Sloss said in his comedy special X in 2019.
The UK comedian ended his special with an impassioned plea for all men to do more to keep women safe, and five years later, his words are going viral once again.
Sloss told the audience a powerful story about finding out his mate had raped his friend and how that experience made him realise it wasn’t enough to sit back thinking he was part of the “solution” just because he wasn’t part of the problem.
“I knew this man for eight years, and he f**king did it,” he said.
Sloss then addressed the men in the audience and said that in order for the culture to change, they needed to be a part of making it happen.
“It has to involve us, and by us, I mean men,” he said.
“Don’t make the same mistake that I did for years, which was just sitting back and being like, ‘Well, I’m not part of the problem, therefore I must be part of the solution’, because that’s just not how this f**king sh*t works.
“I believe and deep down I know that most men are good. Of course, we are. But when one in 10 men is sh*t and the other nine do nothing, they might as well not be there. Being good on the inside counts for absolutely f**k all.
“You have to actively do good and get involved.”
Sloss kept going and pointed out that the “hero complex” some men have about saying “I’m going to beat up a rapist” doesn’t do enough to help women.
“F**king prevent one. Stop one. I know it can be done because I know how I f**king failed at it,” he declared.
Sloss said that after his mate raped his friend, he had to look at his own complicity.
“If I am a hundred per cent honest with myself were there signs in my friend’s behaviour over the years towards women that I ignored? The answer is yes and then he raped my friend and that is on me until the day I die.
“Talk to f**king your boys.”
Years later that clip still goes viral, usually when something heinous has happened to women and especially because Sloss is one of the few male comedians who has tackled the subject of how men can change the culture that harms women.
Right now, that clip is making the rounds again as women in Australia keep being murdered by their male partners.
This year alone, 26 women have died allegedly at the hands of male violence, according to the Counting Dead Women Project.
Of these, 12 were killed in the last 24 days.
There’s been plenty of talk on how we don’t just need women changing the culture. We need men to help, too.
Anthony Albanese gave a speech at an domestic violence rally in Canberra on the weekend, and he said the culture needed to change.
“We need to change the culture, we need to change attitudes, we need to change the legal system,” the Prime Minister said.
Mr Albanese finished his speech by calling the problem a “national crisis” and said one or two months of funding would not be enough to solve it. “It’s up to men to change men’s behaviour as well,” he said.
Patty Kinnersly, chief executive of Our Watch, a national leader in the primary prevention of violence against women, told news.com.au that it was time for men in Australia to speak up.
“To the vast majority of men who respect women, please speak up: in your workplaces, in your sporting clubs, with your mates and to your boys,” Ms Kinnersly said.
“In the last week, male leaders have been stepping-up and calling for men to be part of this change. We call on men across workplaces, sporting clubs, educational institutions, social media and the broader community to join the push for change.
“We need male allies leading this conversation, and being courageous and calling out their friends when they make sexist or disrespectful comment or minimise violence.”