The 1980s and 1990s were a wild time for video games, as the boom occurred right after the NES was launched in 1985 in North America. After that, everyone wanted a piece of the gaming pie, which led to some games that virtually no one remembers today. It's hard to imagine a company thinking these ideas would be good in the modern climateincluding digital platforms.
Some of these games may have been released on Steam because it's a more open platform, but it's better to think more positively. From explicit content to educational stuff, these types of games barely exist in 2025 and certainly wouldn't be released now.
BMX XXX
Teens love nudity
- Developer: Z axis
- Publisher: Acclaim Entertainment
- Release date: November 15, 2002 (Xbox version)
- Platforms: GameCube, PS2, Xbox
After Grand Theft Auto 3many developers tried to chase what made this game successful, but with more lust. One big example is BMX XXXwhich started as an official Dave Mira game. After the game went in a more raunchy direction, Mira backed off, but the game was still released as an open-world sandbox game with cycling at its core.
The bike-based gameplay was fine for an extreme sports game, but nudity was added if players were good enough to unlock it. Fortunately, developers matured after this era, and a major title that flaunts nudity would never have been released in modern times, except maybe on Steam.
Conker's Bad Fur Day
No more Edgelords
Conker's Bad Fur Day is another example of a game that tries to push the boundaries, but in a different direction than nudity. Nintendo is known for their slick clean platformer heroes like Mario, so Rare wanted to put something grittier on the N64.
There was foul language, a talking pile of excrement, lots of violence and so on. Although Microsoft owns the IP along with Rare, the others are unlikely to get the green light Conker game anytime soon, or at least not one this nasty. The game environment is different now and probably won't be welcome Chestnuts brand of humor.
Skylanders: Spyro's Adventure
And all Toys To Life games
The Skylanders series were the first major toy-to-life games, kicking off the genre in 2011 Skylanders: Spyro's Adventure. It was a novel idea that allowed players to buy the base game and then unlock any heroes they wanted to play as by purchasing them in action figure form.
It spawned many other sequels and imitations, including Disney Infinity, Dimensions of Legoand Starlink: Battle for Atlas. Most retail stores today are shrinking their physical play areas, meaning that any kind of toys-to-life game would be impossible to stock, let alone very expensive to develop. No company would want to reinvest that much money.
Boktai: The sun is in your hands
Maybe as a phone app
Boktai: The sun is in your hands is the first game in the series and was released for the Game Boy Advance. The cartridge had an attached solar panel that encouraged players to go outside and capture sunlight. This is how players in the game could charge their solar weapon to defeat enemies, and the big boss vampires also had to be placed in direct sunlight to be completely killed.
It was the kind of complex and novel idea that only Hideo Kojima could come up with, and like the toys-to-life example above, no modern publisher would ever commit to a game that required a physical copy to play.
PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale
Can't Mess With The King
PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale was Sony's attempt to make a platform fighter like Super Smash Bros.but not everything went according to plan. While there were good characters on the roster, such as Kratos, Nathan Drake, Raiden, Ratchet and Clank, and more, unlike Nintendo's vast catalog, it just didn't have that many important series to draw from.
Also missing were some iconic characters closely associated with the PlayStation, such as Cloud Strife and Crash Bandicoot, which fans were not happy about. Every platformer who tries to go after the king that is Smash Bros. it usually fails, and Sony wouldn't take that same risk again on a platform like the PS5.
I Am A Teacher: Super Mario Sweater
Leave Mario alone
- Developer: Royal Kougyou
- Publisher: Nintendo
- Release date: August 27, 1986 (Japan)
- Platform: Famicom (Japanese NES)
Super Mario Bros. was pretty much the reason the NES was so successful when it launched in North America. As a character, Mario quickly became an icon of the 80s and 90s, so Nintendo used him in many spinoffs and merchandising opportunities to keep their momentum going.
One of the strangest examples of this was I'm A Teacher: Super Mario Sweater, released for the Famicom in Japan. It was essentially software that creators could use to attach patterns to clothing. As weird as Nintendo is with Mario these days, it's doubtful they'd make a Mario Sweater game for the Switch or Switch 2.
Sneak King (Burger King Games)
AdverGames now exist online
Sneak King
- Released
-
November 19, 2006
AdverGames is a moniker for product game spinoffs that sought to promote name brands, and existed as far back as the Atari 2600. The last stronghold of console AdverGames was probably the 2006 Burger King games that Xbox players could purchase at affiliated restaurants.
big bumpin' was a bumper car game and Pocket Bike Racer was a cartoon racer. He was the strangest of the whole group Sneak Kingwhere players had to sneak around like a Burger King and give other characters burgers, which was beyond creepy. Nowadays, AdverGames exist in browsers or mobile apps, and no console would ever support their release again, at least physically.
Captain Novolin
Educating children through subpar play
Captain Novolin
- Released
-
November 1, 1992
- ESRB
-
all e10+
- Developers
-
Sculpting software
Captain Novolin is an example of an educational game that tried to disguise itself as a fun platformer for the SNES. The 1980s and 1990s were full of these kinds of entertainment games, which today, like AdverGames, mostly exist as apps or web browsers.
Captain Novolin was trying to teach kids about the dangers of diabetes, which was a noble cause, but it wasn't the best game in the world. Putting money into an edutainment game released on a console, even digitally, doesn't sound like something developers would do in 2025.
